"Infamous" Bacon Cookies

I got a new cookbook! The Food Lovers Make it Paleo (over 200 grain free recipes for any occasion). It was written by this obnoxiously adorable couple, Bill Staley and Hayley Mason (who, in my mind will never get married because her name would be Hayley Staley and that's just silly.) (Oh, I suppose they could get married and she could just not change her name, or they could be super progressive and take hers....But I digress.) So what recipe in my giant new cookbook should I start with?? Beef Tenderloin with Balsamic Drizzle? Lemon Thyme Lamb Chops? Halibut en Papillote? No, no, nope. Infamous Bacon Cookies.

First Thoughts: 

Oh yes I did. I made bacon chocolate chip cookies. At altitude no less. Call me brave if you will, but the photo made them look super delicious and then my facebook status about my pondering the recipe blew the H up and so I felt I must not disappoint! I'd like to start with a wee disclaimer, that if you are not currently eating Paleo or gluten free exclusively, you likely won't dig on the texture of almond flour. For those of us who indulge with waffles and pancakes on weekends, I think this will not be an issue. Ok, enough with the stalling. Here you go.

Ingredients:

• 5 slices nitrate-free bacon
• 1/4 cup pure maple syrup
• 3 cups blanched almond flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup pure maple syrup
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup coconut oil, unrefined
• 1.5 cups organic chocolate chips 72% dark chocolate chips 

Notes on ingredients: I used big fat slices of bacon, and as you'll read, they didn't crisp up the way they should. If you're using big fat slices of bacon, you may need to extend the baking time a bit. Or just by skinnier bacon. Also, don't hurt yourself looking for Blanched Almond Flour-most almonds are blanched in the process, they just don't go advertising it in the name of the product. And don't bother looking at your run-of-the-mill store. They don't have it. You need to go to Whole foods, who will charge you an arm and a leg for a pound of the stuff, or another natural market (I love Sunflower Market). 


The Method: 

1. Preheat the oven to bake at 350 degrees F.
2. In a medium sized mixing bowl, toss bacon in 1/4 cup maple syrup.
3. Lay bacon on a parchment lined baking sheet.
4. Bake for 20 minutes.
5. Remove bacon from oven and allow to cool. 
6. Crumble candied bacon for cookie batter.
7. Heat oven to 375 degrees F.
8. In a medium-sized mixing bowl combine dry ingredients.
9. In a small mixing bowl beat eggs, 1/2 cup maples syrup and vanilla extract with a hand mixer.
10. Pour wet ingredients into dry and beat with hand mixer until combined.
11. Add melted coconut oil into batter and continue to blend until combined.
12. Stir in chocolate chips and candied bacon.
13. Drop balls of dough on parchment-lined baking sheet, about 1 tablespoon in size.
14. Bake cookies for 15 minutes at 375 degrees F. 
15. Let cool and serve.

 

The Critique:

Ease of Recipe: 4/5 Stars

 

The estimated prep time is 20 minutes. It took my daughter and I that amount of time, but for a new baker, it may take longer, and it's going to increase based on your bacon.  Like I mentioned before, the bacon needs to cook a lot longer than the 20 minutes they claim, unless you're using some pre-packaged crap. I'd recommend an extra 10 minutes to start. The estimated bake time is 15 minutes per batch, totaling 35 minutes of cook time (not sure who did the math on that one. Maybe they're including cooling time??). 15 minutes was perfect, even in high altitude to get nice, evenly browned cookies. 

Cooking Method: 5/5 Stars

 

If you use a measuring spoon (tablespoon) to measure your batter as you drop it on the baking sheet, you will likely get 2.5 dozen cookies instead of the 2 dozen they claim. And that size of cookie was perfect. Not too big, not too small.

Flavor: 3.5/5 Stars

Weird. But strangely compelling. I wish my bacon was crispier to get that extra crunch. As I stated before, those not used to gluten free baking will take issue with the texture. (I'm trying these out at a BBQ of non-paleo people tonight and will report back). But overall, more interesting than anything...

Kid Friendliness: 4/5


currently waiting for my daughter to wake up from her nap for this one....
 
Photo Evidence: 4/5 Stars

 Mine were fatter and bumpier than the ones in the cookbook, but overall still look appetizing I think.


Overall 3.9/5 Stars. I'd probably make this again just for the novelty of it.

Southwest Sliders over Spicy Avocado Slaw

The weather is changing here in Denver and spring seems to have arrived! Which naturally, calls for grilling. Our tiny house doesn't have air conditioning, so once the warm weather decides to stick around, we don't cook indoors for fear of raising the internal temp of our home to dangerous highs. Unfortunately, our patio table's glass top shattered this winter under the weight of snow so our outdoor cooking had to find a new venue last night. Naturally, we invited ourselves over to UTM's house, our best friend, honorary uncle and Godfather to our daughter, to grill. I took over the kitchen and we had a lovely meal outside by the fire. Now, let me preface some of this critique with the fact that our UTM is boarderline a gourmet cook. He's amazing and can create crazy dishes from original ideas. I, as you know, cannot and I'm forever nervous to cook for him.

First Thoughts: 
 
Ok, I really need to make an effort to find recipes that could possibly turn out poorly. This recipe is from my absolute favorite Paleo recipe blog: www.paleomg.com. Juli, the author/chef is a trainer at my Crossfit gym. She's badass, completely inspiring and a freaking phenomenal cook. Unfortunately, UTM hates turkey burgers with a passion. He refers to them as a "foul, cruel joke" (very punny). Thus, we modified the recipe a wee. We used Buffalo instead. Also a delicious lean meat. Because of this we didn't use the suggested 1 Tablespoon of fat. We also grilled these instead of skillet cooking.

The Recipe:

The actual link to the recipe page is: http://paleomg.com/southwest-turkey-sliders-spicy-avocado-slaw/. Claims a 15 minute prep, 10 minute cook time for the sliders. Serves 4.

Ingredients:
For the burgers

• 1lb ground turkey
• 1/4 red onion, minced
• 1/4 red onion, thinly sliced
• 1/2 poblano pepper, diced
• 1/2 red bell pepper, diced
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon ground red pepper
• salt and pepper, to taste
• 1 tablespoon fat (bacon fat or coconut oil)                                                                                                           

For the slaw

• 1 small head of cabbage or bag of cabbage, chopped
• 2 avocados
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 teaspoon lime juice
• 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
• salt and pepper, to taste
•                                                                  

Notes on ingredients: As I posted above, we used Buffalo and omitted the tablespoon of fat. We also found that because our avocados weren't quite ripe enough, we had to add a little extra olive oil, lemon and lime juice to make the actual "mayo" for the slaw. I'm sure if we'd had good ripe avocados, we would've been fine. 

The Method:

First make your burgers

1. Add all your ingredients for your burgers in a large bowl.
2. Shape small burger patties.
3. Heat up a large skillet under medium heat with a bit of fat in it (I used bacon fat) and add your sliders. Flip after about 3-5 minutes or when you see the sides of your sliders begin to turn a white color (meaning they are cooking through).

Now make your slaw

1. Pull out your handy dandy food processor, add all your ingredients for the slaw other than the cabbage and pulse until smooth.
2. Pour your avocado “mayo” on the cabbage and mix. Top off with a bit of salt and pepper.
3. Place your cabbage on a plate and top off with your sliders!
4. Consume!

The Critique:

Ease of Recipe: 5/5 Stars

 

The estimated prep and cook time is completely right on. The only thing we had trouble with was the consistency of the "mayo", but I'm not sure that there is any blame there except against Whole Foods who only stock unripened avocados.

Cooking Method: 5/5 Stars

Very easy to understand and very easy to pull off. We used a handy little gadget from Sur La Table that helped us form and grill our sliders, which was helpful for portioning correctly.

Flavor: 5/5 Stars

Delicious. The buffalo was a lovely alternative. They have a nice southwestern kick without being too terribly spicy.

Kid Friendliness: 4/5

Now to be fair, this blog is not geared towards being a resource for kid friendly foods (although many of her breakfasts are incredibly kid friendly). My kids wouldn't eat the veggies in the burgers because of the texture. It would be really easy to set aside a couple of sliders for kids before adding all the chopped veggies though. And my kids already usually opt to have their burgers sans buns.
 
Photo Evidence: 5/5 Stars

Yummy.

 

 

Even our gourmet supreme UTM enjoyed them...

 Overall: 4.5/5 Stars. Just a great spring/summer recipe!

Sarah Fragoso's Pecan Crusted Chicken

Sorry to do another chicken post right off the bat, but this one is totally worth it. I plan on experimenting exclusively from here on out, but this recipe has become a weekly standby for my family and friends. It's fast, simple and only has 4 ingredients. But I can serve this for a dinner party and get nothing but rave reviews. So I'm sharing. You're welcome.

First Thoughts:

If you aren't familiar with Sarah Fragoso, she's kind of the "Queen of Family Friendly Paleo Recipes". She claims her kids eat all her meals. Mine, however, do not. But I can guarantee you that even the busiest of families can find time for these recipes during the week! Her cookbook "Everyday Paleo" was my first Paleo cookbook. While I now own no less than 5 Paleo cookbooks, hers is still my standby. There are things it lacks, like a quality photographer, but overall, it's quite reliable. I highly recommend it.


The Recipe: Pecan Crusted Chicken: Claims a 10 minute prep time, 45 minute cook time and serves 4-5

Ingredients:
1/2 cup Spicy Brown Mustard 
2 Tablespoons Raw Organic Honey (Optional) 
1 Cup Crushed Pecans
4 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts

Notes on Ingredients: I like Dijon better, but that's just my preference. Either way, make it organic. Honey is optional? No. Delicious is the word she's searching for. Don't take this out. You can, however, substitute agave nectar. Equally Awesome.

The Method:
1. Preheat oven to 350 Degrees F.
2. Toss the pecans in a food processor and pulse until the nuts are finely chopped. Pour the chooped pecans into a large bowl and set aside.
3. Using a paper towel, remove any excess moisture from the outside of the chicken breasts. (This is key as the honey mustard won't stick if the chicken is too slippery.)
4. Taking one chicken breast at a time, roll the chicken in the honey mustard mixture and coat on both sides.
5. Transfer the coated chicken into the chopped pecans and again, cover both sides.
6. Place the crusted chicken into a greased glass baking dish and sprinkle each chicken breast with with just a little sea salt if desired. Bake 45 minutes or until chicken juices run clear.

The Critique:

Ease of Recipe: 5/5 Stars

Yes, it is really this simple. The 10 minute prep is completely accurate. The 45 minute bake time is accurate as well, even in high altitude. I recommend the long bake at a low temp to keep the chicken super juicy. 

Cooking Method: 5/5 Stars

Again, "accuracy" is apparently the word of the night. The only thing I tend to change when I do this recipe is to go slightly heavier on the honey mustard mixture and the pecans. I probably use closer to 3/4 cup mustard and 3 tablespoons honey. I just like how the flavor is richer with a little extra. I'm sure it changes the dietary numbers a bit, but I don't pay attention to that. This recipe also doubles well. I've served up to 10 people with doubling it.

Flavor: 5/5 Stars

Obviously this wouldn't be a standby if it weren't delicious! Even my uber gourmet friends come by every time I plan on making it. 

Kid Friendliness: 3/5

This is where this recipe falls short.  I don't know many 3 and 5 year olds that like mustard. I have actually done this in chicken nugget form with only honey and pecans and my 5 year old ate it, but my 3 year old wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole.

Photo Evidence: 5/5 Stars

 My shadowy cell phone pics even beat her craptastic photography.


Overall: 4.5/5 Stars. And that is why it's a standby.

My First Victim (Why I love Pinterest)

My newest addiction is Pinterest. If you haven't gotten an invite, you must request one. Likely you have at least 60 friends playing on there daily, so just suck it up and ask. I have a board on my page titled "Paleo/Crossfit" where you will find a plethora of inspiring phrases and potential yumtastic paleo recipes.

First thoughts:

My first victim is the blog "health-bent.com". This Orange Chicken recipe sounded super easy and super yummy. So I tried it this evening. I went to my local organic grocer for the ingredients. Let's start there. Chicken thighs are weird. And fatty. And isn't Paleo all about lean cuts of meat? The recipe calls for 1 lb of boneless skinless chicken thighs, but I'd recommend at least 1.5 lbs. I trimmed off seriously 1/2 a lb of tendons and fat. I wouldn't recommend substituting though, because it turns out the thighs have the exact right texture and flavor for this recipe. Breasts wouldn't have been nearly as successful.

The recipe: The direct link is: http://www.health-bent.com/poultry/paleo-orange-chicken

Ingredients:

• 1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken thighs (cut into bite size pieces)
• 3 T fat (coconut oil works well here)
• juice of 2 oranges*
• zest from 1 orange
• 1 t fresh ginger
• 3 T coconut aminos or wheat-free soy sauce
• 1 t chili garlic sauce or sriracha
• 3 green onions, chopped

Notes on the ingredients: I used coconut oil. Which I love for it's frothy texture and mild flavor. I used the recommended 3 Tablespoons and could not get the "brown crust" on the outside that the "method" discusses until I emptied out half of it. So truly, I'd recommend 2 Tablespoons at the most.
I also used the Coconut aminos, which you can find next to the soy sauce in the Asian aisle of your local market.

The Method: 

In a medium size sauce pot, add the orange juice, zest, ginger, coconut aminos and chili garlic sauce or sriracha. Set over medium heat and let simmer to reduce and thicken while the chicken cooks. Ok, so here are my suggestions. Squeeze your oranges over a strainer set on top of your saucepan so you don't get pulp and seeds all up in there. Also, I ended up with this on high and constantly whisking trying to get this sauce to thicken! Maybe it's my high altitude, but it took about 20 minutes total for that to happen.
In a saute pan, heat 3 T of the fat of your choice, over medium high heat. Remember the note about no more than 2 T of coconut oil. And even that may be a wee on the heavy side. Just dump a little out if you're not getting that "nice brown crust".
Add the chopped chicken thighs and cook until a nice brown crust has developed on the chicken pieces, about 6 minutes. Again, took me about 20 minutes, not 6. The chicken wasn't even cooked through at the 6 minute mark.
Add the chicken to the sauce pot and stir to coat with the orange sauce.
Serve topped with sliced green onions.

*Taste your oranges. If they don’t taste orange-y, then neither will this dish. Use tangerines if you gotta or add a teaspoon of sweetener until you’re satisfied with the flavor. I used about teaspoon of Stevia for some extra sweetness.

The Critique:

Ease of recipe: 4/5 stars 

This recipe is really simple with only a few ingredients. 

1) More seasoned paleo cooks know where to find coconut aminos, or already have them on hand. I'm new to this. I had to ask for help and guidance. 

2) Chicken thighs take a lot of prep to trim the crud off.

Cooking method: 4/5 stars

1) Just the browning of the chicken took an extra 15 minutes. 

2) That sauce took forever to thicken. Ended up whisking on high for 10 minutes after simmering on medium for 20. Would be super easy to burn if left to it's own devices. 

Flavor: 5/5

Yum. Just yum. It was definitely a hit. The texture and flavor of the thighs was a good ingredient call, as breasts just wouldn't have mimicked the Chinese Restaurant feel they were going for.

Kid Friendliness: 5/5 

My 3 year old asked for 2nds. And 3rds. But did mention that it was a wee bit spicy. Cut back that Sriracha a wee if your child has any aversion to spice.

Photo evidence: 5/5

Just as pretty as the original blog.

Overall: 4.5/5 Stars. I will definitely make this again.

Change of plans (For Hilary)

One of my 3 loyal followers, my friend since 7th grade, texted me last week chastising me for neglecting my diet blog. I promised this weekend I'd get back on. But with some revisions...

I've come to decide 2 things. 1) I really love this Paleo diet. So far I've lost 8 lbs, and 2 pants sizes. I'm sold. I'm committed.  2) I really can't pretend like I can create a recipe blog. I'm just not an innovative cook.

I've also come to realize 2 things. 1) I can follow a recipe really, really well. Thank you to my 8th grade Home Economics teacher, Mrs. French. 2) I can also test drive a recipe and accurately document how long it takes to make, does it really look like it does in the photo, do my husband and I like it, and more importantly, will my kids eat it.

So I'm reformatting this blog. I've changed the layout and the title. Paleo bloggers may come to love and fear me. You may now call me: The Paleo Critic.

Here I am...Friday night

I thought I may have overwhelmed you with my superbowl madness from last weekend. I even held back I bit!! So here I am...Friday night...Cheating. With a fat ass glass of wine. It's been that kind of week. For how much I've said this diet is easy, I've wanted to cheat...alllllll week. I had Starbucks twice. I'm currently consuming alcohol. But you know what's great? I'm still eating the way I'm supposed to. Why? F if I know. Kidding. Because I have a goal. I now weigh (have I shared this with everyone???) 140 lbs. Forever, my longterm goal has been 137 because that was my pre-preggo weight with my daughter. Now? 135 is my goal. It's been 15 years. 15 YEARS. Not ok. Mind you, I'm only 5'2" (on a good day) and could probably be as small as 115 and be healthy and was considered overweight at 145. So now, I'm 5 lbs from a goal I've had for 15 years. I have to hit this. I do. Crossfit has done great things for my competitive side. My husband of almost 10 years says he didn't even know I had this side (except when playing card games). So now I'm competing with me. And my butt, and my waistline.

Anyhoo. We're ordering from our favorite sushi place tonight. The menu is as follows:

Sashimi: 2 pieces yellowtail, 2 pieces seared tuna, 2 pieces New England king salmon
Steamed Chicken and Veggies and a Side of steamed Bok Choy. Yummmmmm.....

Who says you can't get take out on Paleo?? 

Paleo Cupcakes AND Frosting

It's next to impossible to find good recipes for both cupcakes and frosting on the same blog page. Either the cupcake sucks, or the frosting sucks. I'm here to give you pretty darn good recipes for both.

Coconut Vanilla Cupcakes
(I add the coconut in the title because you really can taste it in there. It's a really smooth and delicious combination!)

Cupcake Ingredients:
1/2 Cup plus 2 Tablespoons Coconut Flour
 4 eggs
2 egg whites
1/2 Cup Cane Sugar
1 Cup Coconut Milk (I used canned)
2 tsp Vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking soda

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 and line cupcake pan with liners. (This recipe makes a dozen short cupcakes, or about 9 that are raised like normal cupcakes.) Combine all ingredients in a bowl and whisk until you get a nice even batter. Scoop batter into each cupcake well. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until tops are firm to the touch. Remove from oven and let cool completely before frosting.

 Frosting Ingredients:

1 Cup dark chocolate
1/2 grapeseed oil
2 Tablespoons agave nectar or raw organic honey
1 Tablespoon vanilla extract (or almond, or whatever you like)
Pinch sea salt

Frosting Directions:
In small saucepan, melt and combine chocolate and oil. Add agave, vanilla and pinch of salt. Stir until combined. Remove from heat and put into freezer for 10 minutes to force cool. After 10 minutes, remove frosting and whip with a hand mixer on low speed. Let stand on counter for 10 minutes before frosting.

Frost cupcakes and devour.